


yazi

by watergator



Series: dan's gay sister [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, Fluff, Gay Bar, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:41:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23827777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: dan goes to france with his family, but in this universe he has a gay sister
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: dan's gay sister [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1484768
Comments: 7
Kudos: 84





	yazi

The music is so loud she can feel the booming of each beat from the bottoms of her feet. The bar behind her is sticky and although there’s so much to ground her in the moment, she feels a million miles away from the little French bar they’ve found themselves in.   
  
She’s brushing a sweaty curl off her head when she feels a hand rest of her arm.   
  
Mum is grinning at her, her face is flushed and her own hair is plastered over her face. She looks like she’s having a good time at least.   
  
“Good?” Is what she yells over the music. Her Jack Daniels is almost finished, and as Yazi looks out at the dancefloor of women who expertly weave between each other, arms touching and bodies grinding, she feels like she could finish that drink herself.   
  
She pulls her eyes off one girl, she’s got cropped hair and she looks like she could be an actual god, and looks back at her mother. “Tired,” she yells back.   
  
Karen’s smile falters but only by a little until she’s knocking back her drink and smacking her lips together.   
  
“Lemme get the tab then, love,” she says with a pat to her shoulder as she moves past her to get the attention of the very fit bartender with the golden nose ring that’s stood behind her.   
  
*   
  
They get back to the chateau and it feels like she can still feel the music through the soles of her feet; they’re sore and achy and she just can’t wait to curl up and collapse into her bed and have a good old cry.   
  
Because she can’t cry. Right now, at least, now when she walks into the living room of their rented home for the next week as she sees both her brothers on each end of the couch.   
  
One is reading, the other is smiling at his phone, and it makes her stomach plumet.   
  
She can’t cry right now because she’s supposed to be happy. Her brother just came out.   
  
Not only did he just come out, but he came out to millions of people, and this trip isn’t her little pity party, but instead a celebration as well as a reason for them to actually be together, because besides Christmas, when was the last time the four of the hung out?   
  
Dan’s sat in his own merch and as she flops on the sofa next to him she pinches his arm and makes a noise of disgust. He barely even registers she’s there, too engrossed in his phone.   
  
“Back already?” He asks, tearing his eyes away from the screen to look up at her.   
  
She just hums. She can hear their mum in the kitchen making drinks. “Yeah. French girls aint all it, yknow?”   
  
Dan huffs and she hears the sound of Adrian beside her flicking to the next page of his book.    
  
“Maybe it was just that specific club,” he offers with a half hearted shrug. “Mum  _ did  _ pick out the first gay bar she found,” he chuckles.   
  
Another page flip. Yazi runs a hand over her face, she’s probably smearing any makeup left on her skin but she doesn’t care right now.   
  
“Uh huh,” she grunts in response as she tips her head back and closes her eyes. She really could just fall asleep here.   
  
There’s silence around her, besides the little noises Adrian makes as he goes through page after page. She almost does fall asleep until Dan speaks up, his voice low and loud.   
  
“Maybe we can find one for tomorrow,” he offers, his voice is a little small and she opens her eyes to look at him. “If you want.”   
  
She attempts a grin. “Aren’t you like, married, basically?”   
  
His face flushes and even Adrian makes a noise resembling something of a laugh.   
  
He opens his mouth but no words come out. When they do, they’re just a jumbled mess.    
  
“Not for  _ me, _ ” he squeaks. “For you. Maybe we can all go,” he adds with another shrug.   
  
Adrian hums flatly, clearly uninterested.   
  
“And what help would that do?” She asks, raising a brow at Dan. Her neck feels a little stiff from where it's craned like this, but she’s too lazy to get up and move.   
  
“We could be your… your wing men,” he says, nose crinkling up as he says it and it makes her laugh.    
  
“You?” She says in disbelief, a cough of laughter escapes her. “Mate.”   
  
“Hey,” Dan frowns. “Who out of all three of us is in an actual relationship,” he questions her.   
  
It’s then that Adrian pulls his head from his book to look at the both,   
  
“Well, actually-” he begins, but Dan cuts him off with a wave of his hand.   
  
“Nuh uh,” he says with a shake of his head. “You don’t count,” he tells him. “Straight relationships aren’t real and therefore don’t count,” he tells him, trying hard to keep the grin off his face as Yazi barks a laugh.   
  
Adrian scowls at him, mumbling something under his breath about him being a prick, going back to his book.   
  
Dan grins, clearly pleased with himself. It’s then that his phone flashes that he stops what he’s doing, whether it be a boastful brat or teasing his siblings to look at his screen.   
  
His face breaks into a soft smile, the kind that Yazi can’t help but notice. She thinks back to when they were kids, much younger and smaller back then, in every sense possible. She remembers how hurt he always was, and now that she knows… it feels almost bittersweet that he’s sat here glancing at his phone, smiling like a fool.   
  
Good because it gets to happen, but hurtful because it took such a long time.   
  
It’s then that their mum returns to the room, Colin following at her heels. “Did ya hear from Phil, darling?” she asks as she heads towards the little chair beside them. When she takes her seat it doesn’t take long for Colin to hop up into her lap, settling down comfortably on top of her legs.   
  
Dan doesn’t answer, instead typing away, still smiling until he looks up, almost shocked that she’d appeared in the room.   
  
“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Yeah, he just,” he glances back at his phone. “Something stupid about the… the fish.”   
  
Karen smiles. “What was his name again? Nemo?”    
  
Yazi knows she knows. She just likes to get Dan to talk whenever he can. He scoffs as he corrects her.   
  
“It’s Norman, actually,” he says, sitting back in his seat before tutting in false disgust. “Nemo,” he says with a shake of his head.

Yazi just watches her mother’s knowing expression, pursing her lips to seal away the smile she’s badly hiding.   
  
A weird kind of silence falls over the four of them, which is nothing new really, but Yazi finds herself opening her mouth nonetheless.   
  
“Mum got hit on at the bar,” she blurts. Both Dan and Adrian look up, balking for a moment until they both almost fall about laughing.    
  
“Fuck off,” Dan squeaks. “What?!” His voice goes really high and Yazi has to smack him right in the shoulder.   
  
He pays no attention to her and instead looks at where their poor mother hides sheepishly behind the dog.   
  
“She was a lovely girl,” she tries, but they all end up laughing again, Colin even lets out a small bark to feel included.    
  
When they get their breath back, Karen hums. “Far too young for me though,” she says with a sigh. “Besides, I’m too old for all of that again. Just me and my Colin, eh?” She ruffles the fur behind his ear and he very lazily leans into it.   
  
Dan snorts again. “What, dad put you off blokes for life then?” he jokes. It’s a subtle jab, but it’s still visible where it pokes at them all.   
  
Karen doesn’t look up, but she lets out a breathy laugh. “Ha,” is all she says.   
  
Yazi sits back in her seat. Her eyes flicker over to the book her brother is reading. Something about meditation. Boring.   
  
“Wouldn’t be surprised,” she says in a small voice as her eyes lazily ghost over words she’s not even reading. “Men are like,  _ the _ worst.”   
  
Both Dan and Karen agree and Adrian just pretends to be reading again.    
  
They fall into the same kind of silence again until Karen yawns, announcing with a clap that she’s heading off to bed.   
  
“Bike rides in the morning,” she tells them as she stretches her arms over her head. “Up early you lot.”   
  
Adrian agrees and gets up to follow her around the room to talk about possible tracks he’s been searching, leaving just Yazi and Dan in the living together.   
  
“Such a div,” Yazi mumbles under her breath as she listens to their mother mindlessly agree with whatever her youngest is rambling on about.   
  
Dan laughs softy. “He’s alright,” he argues. “I think he’s coming to terms with being the odd one out between us three,” he nudges his elbow into her ribs and she looks at him.   
  
He’s got a happy grin plastered across his face. It’s like her own face, really, just moulded into something a tad more boyish with choppier hair and a shade of brown in his eyes a splash darker.   
  
“Oh woe is he,” she scoffs and Dan laughs again. It sounds real, and it makes her laugh back.   
  
The backdoor creaks open as Karen lets Colin out for the final wee of the night.    
  
She’s listening to the jingle of his collar, the far away sounds of the French countryside at night when Dan’s phone buzzes again.   
  
She’s able to glance at it this time from where it’s sat on his leg.   
  
“Aw,” she coos as Dan snatches the phone up. It’s too late though, she’d already seen the cutesy goodnight text.   
  
“Shut up,” he grumbles. “Just… shut up.”   
  
She exhales through her nose in a lazy laugh. “He’s well cute then, hm?”   
  
Dan stops typing, and for a small moment, she wonders if maybe she’d pushed too far. Phil had been invited on the trip but it had been Dan that had told them that it was a family trip, for family reasons, and after mum’s grumblings, he’d explained there was always time for Phil to come along with any other future family holidays.   
  
Yazi had believed that that was the case, but she hadn’t really stopped to think that maybe Phil had agreed not to come because… well. Maybe it would be awkward.   
  
She knows Phil. He’s sweet. He’s funny. They’ve only had a handful of weird and awkward conversations, mostly in theatre dressing rooms, and she likes him. She gets why Dan likes him too. It hurts her a little bit that he never got to express that earlier on.   
  
She teases him like this is something new, because to her, mum and even Adrian, it is new. But to Dan it's long and lasting and more than just a silly little boyfriend thing.   
  
“He’s good,” he croaks and it takes her by surprise, half expecting him to just not reply at all. But he looks at her and smiles, if only faintly, it’s still a smile.   
  
“Good,” she says back, voice thick with emotion. She’s got enough shit, but it’s nice to know her brother is happy. He looks like he’s enjoying being happy.   
  
Dan slips his phone back in his pocket and shifts in his seat to look at her.   
  
“What about you though?” He asks, face going serious for a moment. “I mean, ever since Erica-”   
  
Her name is like fire under her fingertips; it stings and her first reaction is to yelp and jump away.   
  
But she doesn’t. If Dan can be brave tonight, so can she.   
  
“Not gonna lie, it still fucking hurts,” she says with a wobbly laugh. She’s not drunk enough anymore to warrant crying on her little brother’s shoulder over a girl she broke up with a year ago… but Erica was one of her first loves. Maybe the only.

Dan’s face twists and it only makes her feel worse. “I’m sorry,” he tells her. “I wish there was something I could say but…” his voice trails off and Yazi laughs almost bitterly.   
  
“But you found yours, right?”    
  
Dan blinks at her and a horrible feeling rises within her.   
  
She shakes her head, ducking down with a loud huff. “I’m being a cunt,” she tells him bluntly.   
  
“When are you not,” he says, equally as blunt. She looks up at him and she sees her own face again. She remembers when he started to outgrow her and how so many people mistook them for twins. It makes her want to cry a little bit.   
  
“Do you think we absorbed some gay genes in the womb? And that’s why Adrian is the way he is?” She asks him.   
  
Dan splutters on his laugh so hard, he actually chokes. His face goes red and there’s tears forming in the corners of his eyes. It makes her laugh too, her own tears burn behind her eyes but for an entirely different reason.

They both end up laughing at one another, only for Adrian to come stomping out in his pyjamas. He tells them both to shut up because he simply cannot hear his podcast over their squawking, but when he leaves, they end up laughing even harder and even louder.   
  
They’ve both stopped laughing when Dan says,   
  
“You get on really well with Phil.”   
  
It makes her want to cry all over again.    
  
“Yeah?” she says, trying to mask the way her voice shakes. She’s just so proud of her brother.   
  
He hums. “Maybe we could hang out once we get back to London,” he tells her. There’s a nonchalance to his voice, but the way he’s picking at his thumb nail, would tell her differently.   
  
She laughs. “Sure.” Then, “You have any gay girls I could hopelessly fall in love with?”   
  
Dan hums, like he’s seriously considering it for a moment. And for a second, maybe she is too.

And Yazi still hurts, deep down. She’ll put it on hold for as long as they’re in France. Because when she heads back to her empty apartment where the bedsheets are cold and the rooms are quiet, she knows that right now, she doesn’t have to focus on that hurt. For once, for the first time in a fucking long time, it feels like it’s her family that might help with that.   
  
Be it her mum taking her to the worst gay clubs in all of Europe, or picking fights with her brother and bonding with the other because the one thing they have in common is that they’re both gay as fuck… it feels nice.    
  
She feels a tug at her lips, cheeks hurt from smiling as Dan mentions his friend with the pink hair that happens to like girls, and drinks both Dan and Phil under the table, crowning her a perfect match.   
  
She might cry later, but right now, things don’t feel so bad.   


**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr !! @watergator


End file.
